Unconventional Wisdom

Shamelessness is often misunderstood to be associated with audacity or impropriety, but what if it’s actually the key to profound freedom, which comes from a place of awareness and maturity?

In this article we will explore the redefinition of shamelessness as an attitude of intimacy and radical authenticity: a state where self-imposed limits dissolve, leaving us fully present to life’s richness.

To begin with, we will briefly revisit the ideas about Eros versus Sex, as mentioned in a previous article.

The Dual Currents of Existence: From Sex to Eros

Tantra teaches that creation arises from two opposite forces: one descends into manifestation, birthing diversity and tangible experience, while the other ascends toward liberation from confinement—dissolving boundaries into universality. These currents shape every aspect of life. When fixated on the details, the physical, the immediate, we align with the descending flow, which expresses as the sexual energy.

Ancient traditions revered its counterpart, Eros (or Kama), the upward current of abstract creativity and freedom. Sex was seen as a fleeting, functional necessity—programmed for procreation but otherwise peripheral. The true art lay in riding the ascending wave: a path to expansion beyond the confinement, where pleasure becomes uplifting and shamelessness becomes grace.

Today our life tends to keep us locked in the descending current—addicted to surface-level patterns while ignoring the common thread: ourselves. Like some scientists ignoring identical failed experiments, we blame partners, circumstances, anything but looking into ourselves.

The ascending current offers the solution. When aligned with Eros, even repeated failures spark revelation: What in me causes this? Shame or insecurity may surface, but the act of seeing breaks the cycle. This is true shamelessness—not recklessness, but the courage to face what we’ve denied. Where the descending current traps us in loops, the upward path turns wounds into wisdom through radical self-honesty.

In order to belong to this uplifting current, we need to have a certain attitude — one that is best described as shameless, without inhibitions. 

Intimacy as a Gateway to Shamelessness

True intimacy is our gateway to shameless freedom. When we communicate deeply, touch authentically, and interact with the world without filters, we align with the ascending current of Eros, which leads us deeper into our hearts, diving into a greater happiness. We no longer need to try to impress the other one, but simply be ourselves and offer our authentic presence. Modern life trains us in the opposite: robotic formalities, polite masks, and professionalism that leave us alienated from others and ourselves. In learning to be intimate in our daily life, we can de-condition ourselves from the narrowing perspective on life that the society has put upon us, and go with the Erotic flow into true fulfilment.

Each formal handshake, each restrained smile, is a denial of our soul’s language. Today, we’ve replaced authentic connection with therapeutic techniques and professional boundaries. If we are formal and “polite” with people, we are also very formal in our own relationship with our deep self, creating what amounts to spiritual crimes against our true nature.

We have unconsciously put filters upon us, layer after layer. Every time we smile at someone in a formal way, every time we refuse to deeply acknowledge the presence of a person through our senses, we refuse something to our own soul. Whilst on the contrary, each time we make a gesture to open up, to hug, to touch, to listen carefully to the inflections of another’s voice, to notice their emotions, to inquire, we open deeper to ourselves at the same time.

The sexual energy that dominates modern perspectives on life inevitably leads to objectification – seeing others as targets for gratification rather than sacred beings that also have a heart and soul just like us. Protocol and politeness become just another way to hide our real desires and intentions.

The solution isn’t repression, but elevation. When we tune into the erotic current of energy our perspective rises and our entire way of relating to people transforms. We stop hiding behind “professional” masks and start meeting each other in shameless authenticity. A space in which a touch can communicate more than words, and our full presence becomes an ultimate act of courage.

This is the alchemical power of true intimacy: by embracing our desires without shame and with full awareness, we mysteriously break free from them. The erotic becomes spiritual, raising us beyond the gravitational pull of base sexuality into realms of connection where souls – not just bodies – meet. Here, in the space of shameless presence, we discover that the most radical act is simply to be real, and to be intimate.

Turning the lights ON

The most direct way of switching to the upward erotic current and cultivating the shameless attitude is to turn the light of the awareness on as much as possible in everything we do, starting from small glimpses of sensations and then not letting them out of our sight.

When we engage intimately, but unconsciously, we practically damage ourselves. Even if we touch the hand of a person, if we shake hands, we can (and we dare say need) to put the full light of our awareness in that experience. We’ll be surprised by what we feel, by the many sensations and realisations. The other person will also perceive it in a pleasant and inspired way, without any sense of strangeness or objectification.

Do you recall a moment when you fell in love with someone and you hadn’t spoken to each other about it yet? Maybe you accidentally touched each other walking in the hallway, and it gave you extremely intense shivers… That is the effect of you being in full alert, with full lights on. In that state, that simple touch was a stimuli arriving on this background, which had such extraordinary effects. This is the attitude of awareness that can help us connect to true intimacy and Eros.

The modern approach on intimacy suffers from a peculiar paradox: the stronger our desires, the more desperately we dim our awareness. We perfect polite formalities and socially acceptable behaviours precisely to avoid true connection—to keep others from really seeing us, and to avoid seeing ourselves. This “lights off” approach expresses itself most clearly in our addiction to validation. Consider the absurdity of pulling away from a lover’s hand because, “people might see.” We’d rather betray our own hearts than risk someone else’s judgment—as if we could control their thoughts while struggling to master our own.

Learn to be intimate and relaxed with all the lights of awareness on, to practice the lights-on attitude in every intimate act that we do, is a much needed lesson for us all.

In this case, one might ask, how do we practically approach very intense sexual excitement with the lights on? Great question, and we look forward to sharing more with you in the next article… stay tuned!